Imran Khan to star in a movie

Cricketer-turned-politician Imran Khan has confirmed reports that he is all set to debut in a movie titled “My name is Imran Khan” after he was taken off a US-bound flight at Toronto airport and questioned about his views on drones and jihad. The movie will be bankrolled by Khan’s Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaaf party. The film is seen as a step to bring Lollywood (the Lahore film industry) cinema on a par with the cheesy fare dished out by Bollywood.

Explaining the reason for starting a new innings on celluloid after excelling in cricket and politics, the charismatic former Pakistan cricketer said, “As you all know, my recent ordeal bore uncanny resemblance to the hare-brained plot of Karan Johar’s ‘My Name is Khan’. Then it struck me that I happen to be the big daddy of Khans, be it looks, intellect, achievement or athleticism. So I decided why not let audiences get to see a real Khan on the screen. The Real McCoy, as opposed to ersatz Bollywood Khans.”

Movie pundits reckon “My name is Imran Khan” is a blockbuster in the making. “Going by Imran’s huge popularity with the fairer sex, the movie is expected to a huge hit not just in the subcontinent but also across all former British colonies from Christchurch to Basutoland, Kandy to Karachi and Kingstown to Kent. For that matter, non British colonies too, which means the entire world,” opines Talat Hussain, a Mumbai-based film critic.

Imran’s foray into movies has been lauded by Pakistan Army and ISI as it is in Pakistan’s national interest. Pakistan Army Chief Kayani said, “I’m sick of watching movies like ‘Ek tha Tiger’ and ‘Agent Vinod’ showing Indian Khans playing RAW officers pataoing cute ISI agents played by Bollywood bombshells. Hope Imran sets the record straight by playing a Pakistan playboy wooing Indian RAW chicks and bringing them over to our side.”

Bollywood producers are lining up to sign the charismatic World Cup-winning captain. Goldie Behl was the first off the blocks to get the great Khan to sign up for “Drone”, the sequel to his Abhishek Bachchan dud, “Drona”. However, one particular Bollywood personality is none too pleased with the developments: Bollywood actor, Imran Khan.

“If Imran uncle enters the industry, then I can kiss goodbye to my career. I mean who will want to watch my movies after he gets into the fray. Maybe I can play the teenage Imran Khan in his movies after that,” wailed the Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na star.